Tag Archives: Apps

Eight Concerns About Selfies

Online Safety, , , ,
By Angela Tooley

Have you ever considered what is the underlying cause of the #metoo abuse and assault cases? The horrors of sex trafficking come from that same place. Even pornography is based on this principle. It is called:
ob·jec·ti·fi·ca·tion
“It is the act of treating a person, as an object or a thing. It is part of dehumanization, the act of disavowing the humanity of others. Sexual objectification, the act of treating a person as a mere object of sexual desire, is a subset of objectification, as is self-objectification, the objectification of one’s self.”
It is the dehumanization process that can unwittingly lead a good person to a porn addiction or worse.  We can lose the ability to value the dignity of human beings. It is very frightening that we can even objectify ourselves. We see it everyday in social media and texts. I bet that you have done it. It is the selfie!
Here are the 8 C’s (Concerns) about selfies:
  • Comparison – you are inviting others to compare you to someone else, not to value your God-given uniqueness
  • Craving a false sense of self-will drive you to post pics for likes and comments
  • Controlling your images becomes unmanageable and unsafe
  • Cultivates negative personality traits like pride and insecurity
  • Compromises your self-image and lowers your self-worth
  • Consider that you will look conceited, not confident
  • Chew sup valuable space on your devices
  • Consumes a lot of time to get all those poses of pouty lips (girls) and flexing biceps (guys)
Now please don’t misunderstand – I’m not saying to never take or post a picture of yourself but when the endless posting of your own picture becomes an exercise in staging moments rather than the experience of living out the life God has given you then you have lost yourself, you are only an object.
You are so much more. I propose that you take great pics that celebrate life! Pictures with other people in them. Pictures that show valued relationships. That’s real beauty for all to see!

VICTORY in Online Safety

Online Safety, , ,

By Eric Tooley

Angela and I just spent a week in Washington, DC at the Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Global Summit. Last Friday news broke that the Department of Justice seized and shutdown Backpage.com, the largest sex trafficking website in the world. The Coalition had targeted Backpage.com for several years for the following reasons:

  • “All of the child-trafficking cases prosecuted by this office over the past two years involved backpage.com.” —  St. Paul, MN County Attorney
  • in 2013, eight out of every ten dollars spent on online commercial sex advertisement in the U.S. went to Backpage.com. —  US Senate Subcommittee
  • “Adult and child sex trafficking victims were forced into prostitution through escort ads that appeared repeatedly on Backpage.” —  Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton

The Coalition went to work with the following initiatives:

  • Getting the US Congress to amend laws that protect websites from prosecution. —
    • This was done and President Trump will sign FOSTA-SESTA (H.R. 1865) later today!
    • In response to the bill’s passing, CraigsList, Reddit, and other sites shut down their personal sex sections.
  • Establish an app where users submit pictures of their hotel room so pictures on Backpage.com can be identified for their location so victims can be rescued. This was done.
  • Produce a documentary film highlighting the stories of victims and how Backpage.com was involved.
    • This was done.
    • “I am Jane Doe” is available on Netflix and online.
    • Angela and I screened this movie Thursday night of the conference and strongly recommend it.

Obviously, there was great rejoicing at the Summit when the news broke that Backpage.com had been shut down. During the press conference at the Summit, I announced on the Noble Choices FaceBook page that we debut a program on Sex Trafficking for churches and schools this fall.

Noble Choices has been a proud member of this coalition since our beginning in 2014. Noble Choice’s mission is not one of activism but one of education via prevention programs, counseling, and recovery programs. The Coalition welcomes our efforts as part of their prevention work.

Dating Apps with Teens are Dangerous for Adults

Online Safety,

Deceptive Teens Phone(This is the second of a three-part series on the dangers of dating apps and teenagers. See the first in the series here.)

It is obvious to tell teens on dating apps their vulnerability to sexual predators. What is not so obvious is the danger to adults when teens use these apps.

In June, a Houston man used the dating app Plenty O’ Fish to meet an 18 year-old woman. After talking online for three days, the woman invited him to her apartment. When he arrived, the woman claimed to need to take a phone call. When she left, two male teens approached with a gun. When the man had no money and refused to take them to his car, the teens shot him. The man survived by playing dead and calling 911 when his attackers fled. The girl was only 14 and had done the same scheme with another victim.

In Indiana last month, a nineteen year old man used the app, Hot or Not, to meet a 17 year-old girl (“of age” in Indiana). The two meet and have sex. It turns out the girl was only 14. The girl testified at his trial and admitted lying about her age. She said, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you my age. It kills me every day, knowing you are going through hell and I’m not. I want to be in trouble and not you.”

However, even if the sex was consensual and even if the girl did lie about her age, it is not a defense under most statutory rape laws. After a short jail sentence he is listed as a sex offender for 25 years. As such, he cannot live with his parents because his brother is 15. He is forbidden from using computers or smart phones to communicate with minors the rest of his life.

These stories aren’t just important for adults to reconsider their use of dating apps. Teens need to know them as well. The Indiana story shows what a young teen can do to someone they care about when they lie about their age in these apps.

For a list of these apps see my previous article on dating apps.

ABC 13 Eyewitness News. (2015, July 6). Police: Man played dead after being shot in southwest Houston. Retrieved from News: http://abc13.com/news/police-man-played-dead-after-being-shot-in-sw–houston/831467/
Kasparian, A. (2015, August 5). How a dating app hookup landed a teen on the sex offender registry. Retrieved from Raw Story: http://www.rawstory.com/2015/08/teen-listed-as-a-sex-offender-for-dating-app-hookup/
Phillips, K., & Fitzpatrick, D. (2015, August 4). How a dating app hookup landed a teen on the sex offender registry. Retrieved from CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/03/us/dating-app-sex-offender-registry/
Shay, M. (2015, July 10). Charges dropped against teen accused of luring shooting victims. Retrieved from ABC 13 Eyewitness News: http://abc13.com/news/charges-dropped-against-teen-accused-of-luring-victims/840675/

12 Dangerous Dating Apps for Teens

Online Safety,

Woman phone-Masked man(This is the first of a three-part series on the dangers of dating apps.)

A fourteen year-old girl feeling (like most young teens) lonely and unsure of herself, turns to her smart phone.

She installs the app MyLOL claiming to be the “#1 teen dating site in the US, Australia, UK and Canada.” She meets a young teen boy who finally gives her the attention she can’t get at school.

Two months later they arrange to meet for the first time at her home when her parents are away. The young teen boy proves to be a 28 year-old taxi driver. After sexually abusing her, he returns three days later to her school. The girl tells her teacher who calls police who arrest the man.

The police find that he had been in contact with other young girls through MyLOL. He pleaded guilty to six counts of sexual activity with a child and is now in prison.

MyLOL markets itself to 13 to 20 year olds and claims to monitor posts for illegal activity and nudity. However, the age of users is not verified.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) calls MyLOL a “playground for pedophiles.” The NSPCC is

“calling on all teen dating apps and websites to take immediate steps to protect their young users. … For many young people socializing … through mobile phone apps is part of everyday life. So it’s vital that when they sign up to an app they aren’t exposed to adult sexual content or have encounters with adults that puts them at risk of being sexually abused.”

Parents this is just one app of many to keep away from your teen’s phone. Here is a list of teen dating apps that pose this danger:

  • Hot or Not
  • Meetme
  • MyLOL
  • Omegle

Dating apps for adults are also dangerous for teens and are not difficult for teens to bypass their age requirements:

  • Badoo
  • Bumble
  • Coffee Meets Bagel
  • Happn
  • Hinge
  • OkCupid
  • Plenty O’ Fish
  • Skout
  • Tinder

Conway, P. (2015, February 9). 6 Adult Dating Apps Teens Are Using Too. Retrieved from Common Sense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/6-adult-dating-apps-teens-are-using-too

DailyMail.com. (2014, January 24). Teenagers joining ‘playground for pedophiles’ MyLOL website to avoid being checked up by Mum on Facebook. Retrieved from Daily Mail News: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2545658/Teenagers-joining-risky-websites-avoid-check-Mum-Facebook.html

MyLOL. (2015). Retrieved from http://www.mylol.com

Philby, C. (2014, August 11). Teenage dating apps are hunting ground for adult abusers. Retrieved from The Independent: http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/teenage-dating-apps-are-hunting-ground-for-adult-abusers-9662817.html

Woda, T. (2015, May 1). Teen Dating Apps That Are Bad News. Retrieved from uknowkids: http://resources.uknowkids.com/blog/teen-dating-apps-that-are-bad-news

5 Dangerous Apps For Teens

Online Safety, , ,

Mardi Gras MaskIn my program on social media, “Not of the World,” I put on a Mardi Gras mask.

I proceed to talk to my audience as if they don’t know who I am. If I were to use bad language or hit someone or steal something from someone in the audience, I would get away with it because no one would know who did it. If no one knows it is me, I don’t have to worry about any consequences to my behavior.

This is absurd because even though I wear a mask, everyone knows it is me.

Teenagers are especially attracted to privacy, independence, and not being supervised. That makes them especially vulnerable to the risks of phony privacy. The “responsibility” and “consequences” part of the brain isn’t fully developed until the mid-twenties. I am sure you have heard a teenager say, “It won’t happen to me.”

Adding phony privacy to a teenage brain is like throwing gas on firewood; all you need is a match for a huge fire.

The match is some of the most popular apps to teenagers.

It started with Snapchat that promises to erase any picture a short time after you send it to someone.

Burn Note makes that promise with texting.

Whisper and Secret-Speak Freely are places where you can post whatever you want anonymously: vent, confess, share intimate fantasies or anything else as long as there are no identifiable names or information.

Omegle is a chat room for anonymous instant messaging with a stranger.

Watch for and deny access to these apps with your teenagers.

As I do in “Not of the World,” we have to constantly make the following loud and clear:

Social media, the internet, and texting
ARE NOT PRIVATE!

(McIlhaney, Jr., J. S., & Bush, F. M. (2008). Hooked. Chicago: Northfield Publishing.)
(Schryver, K. (2014, March 26). Trend Alert: 6 Messaging Apps That Let Teens Share (Iffy) Secrets. Retrieved from Common Sense Media Making Sense Blog: http://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/trend-alert-6-messaging-apps-that-let-teens-share-iffy-secrets)