Tag Archives: Masturbation

Porn is Anti-Relationships

Pornography, Stories, , , ,

By Eric Tooley

I am not a rock music fan. Don’t get me wrong. I like rock music. I love TobyMac and For King and Country. Secular rock’s many vulgar performances and nasty lyrics have ruined it for me.

John Mayer, evidently, is a rock star.

He is not a preacher, counselor, researcher, or a professor. Better than any of those experts, he explains what pornography can do to you.

“Internet pornography has absolutely changed my generation’s expectations. …How does that not affect the psychology of having a relationship with somebody? It’s got to. When I meet somebody, I’m in a situation in which I can’t run it because another person is involved.

If I date somebody and it doesn’t work out, it’s another nightmare for me. …If I date nine more girls before I get married …that would be nine more spats of character assassination.

I don’t equate sex with release, I equate it with tension. I grew up in my own head. As soon as I lose that control, once I have to deal with someone else’s desires, I cut and run.

I mean, I have unbelievable [sex] alone. They’re always the best. They always end the way I want them to end.

This is my problem now: Rather than meet somebody new, I would rather go home and replay the … experiences I’ve already had. …I’m more comfortable in my imagination than I am in actual human discovery.“

Can you feel the fear? the loneliness?

Pornography, while being all about sex, actually robs people from being able to enjoy sex.

(Specific citation withheld due to the explicit nature of the article.)

Groundhog Day Pornography

Pornography, ,

Groundhog-Day-Movie-stills-51Is your battle with pornography like the movie Groundhog Day? Bill Murray’s character keeps reliving the same day over and over again until he can do it right.

Many of us fight pornography the same way. I always thought I just needed to pray more or work harder. It would work a while but the porn always came back. We try all kinds of different things to quit and even have a little bit of success but eventually fail and find ourselves right back at the start. Most people see their problem get worse despite their own efforts to stop.

The first step to overcoming a pornography problem is realizing you have a problem. I didn’t get better until I admitted I couldn’t quit. Now I wish I had started the recovery process so much sooner. This can be fixed with treatment.

Take this test to honestly evaluate your own behavior. Answering yes to even one question is enough to get help. Email or call me at 972-342-0753. I am a Certified Pastoral Sexual Addiction Specialist. I help people all over the world via phone or video. At least seek out more information about pornography addiction or attend a Celebrate Recovery group.

  1. Would people in your life be upset about your sexual activities online?
  2. Have you used pornography even when there was considerable risk of being caught by family members and/or employers who would be upset by your behavior?
  3. Is masturbation a frequent activity?
  4. Do you feel shame or depression after sexual behavior?
  5. Have you gotten rid of a pornography collection and then started collecting it again?
  6. Do you with some regularity buy, rent, or make your own X-rated videos?
  7. Do you look on TV to find sexually stimulating scenes?
  8. Are you lying to cover up pornography use?
  9. Do you feel like you are not in “control” of your porn use? Do you feel driven to look at it?
  10. Have you told yourself over and over “this is the last time”, and then still do it again?
  11. Do you look at women differently? Do you focus on the sexual areas of their bodies? You know it’s wrong but can’t seem to help it.
  12. Is the porn you look at now more hard-core than the porn you looked at before?
  13. Are you seeking out new variations and types of porn?

(Carnes, P. J. (2007). Sexual addiction screening test.)

(The Turning Point Counseling Services. (2012). Sex addiction self-test.)