Tag Archives: Texting

Cyber Rape

Speak UpAt age 23, Holly had a new boyfriend.

When Holly moved away for grad school, they dated long-distance. “To keep the intimacy alive” she sent him naked photos and a personal sexual video.

However after three years, it ran its course and they had a “normal breakup.”

Several months later, Holly’s naked photos were all over the internet with her full name, email address, job title, where she worked, and other details.

“My stomach just dropped and I felt ill.” Holly worked to remove the photos but they kept coming up on more and more sites.

Then it got worse. She received an email with her photos. “Get in touch concerning your pictures. There’s also a nice video. Have [they] seen them? It’s 8:15 where you are. You have until 8:37 to reply. Then I start the distribution.” The email listed the email addresses of Holly’s co-workers and boss.

Holly did not respond. The photos were emailed to her boss and co-workers and went viral within three days. Her boss called her in to explain. Holly eventually quit her job.

Now three years after the break up, “I felt like the only thing I could do was part from that identity that had been completely defamed.” She legally changed her name to Holly from her birth name.

Six months later she was going to present her doctoral thesis at a conference. Her naked photos appeared on the web with her new name and with the date, time and location of the conference. “They said something like why don’t you go check her out and see if she’ll have sex with you for money.”

Fearing for her safety, Holly backed out of the conference and went to the police. Since she was over 18 and voluntarily gave the pictures and video, there wasn’t anything they could do.

Holly didn’t give up. She went to her state attorney’s office who took her case. Holly, now age 29, became the first person to sue an ex for their distribution of revenge pornography. “It is really cyber rape. It’s just another way of exploiting women.”

(Jacobs, H. (2013, September 8). A Message From Our Founder, Dr. Holly Jacobs. Retrieved from End Revenge Porn: http://www.endrevengeporn.org/?p=422)
(Miller, M. E. (2013, May 9). Miami Student Holly Jacobs Fights Revenge Porn. Retrieved from Miami New Times News: http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2013-05-09/news/revenge-porn-miami-holly-jacobs/full/)

Teens and Sleep

Sleeping_while_studyingParents today have to deal with so many issues when parenting teens that it is easy to lose track of the basics, sleep for example.

Did you know that a lack of sleep in teenagers is linked to:
• suicide
• high blood pressure
• heart disease
• Type 2 diabetes
• depression
• sexual activities
• car accidents
• poor school performance
• mental health issues
• risk-taking behavior
• substance abuse
• binge drinking
• obesity
• social inhibition
• sedentary behavior
• low socioeconomic status

The CDC reports that the recommended amount of sleep for teens is nine to ten hours. A recent study found that 60% of high schoolers report they do not get over seven hours. The majority of high school teens are falling at least two hours short! This shortfall results in a
• 47% greater likelihood to binge drink
• 80% greater likelihood to have regretted sexual activity

What can parents do?

1. Do what you can. Increasing sleep just one hour results in a ten percent improvement in most of the consequences.
2. Make adequate sleep a condition to drive. If your teen doesn’t get enough sleep, take their keys. You wouldn’t let them drive drunk. Why would you let them drive drowsy?
3. Remove electronics (televisions, cell phones, video games, tablets, computers, etc.) from the bedroom. Some studies show that the light of a screen makes us think it is daytime and makes it difficult to sleep. Many studies show that incoming texts and social media posts interrupt teen sleep. Other show that these items just keep teens awake longer due to their participation.
4. Regulate caffeine consumption. Energy drinks and specialty coffee drinks can have as much caffeine as ten cups of coffee!
5. Set a bedtime. Studies show that teens with a set bedtime have a much more positive sleep pattern.
6. Establish a quiet time of one hour before bedtime. Teens who do not use electronic devices or do school work an hour before bedtime got more sleep.
7. Set a good example. The CDC says adults need seven to eight hours of sleep per night. Model the suggestions above in your own life.

Brody, J. (2014, October 21). Hard Lesson in Sleep for Teenagers. The New York Times, p. D5.
CDC. (2013). How Much Sleep Do I Need? Retrieved from Sleep and Sleep Disorders: http://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/how_much_sleep.htm
Keyes, K., Maslowsky, j., Hamilton, A., & Schulenberg, J. (2015, March). The Great Sleep Recession: Changes in Sleep Duration Among US Adolescents, 1991-2012. PEDIATRICS, 460-468. doi:10.1542/peds.2014-2707
National Seep Foundation. (2006). Sleep in America Poll – Summary of Findings. Retrieved from Teens and Sleep: http://sleepfoundation.org/sites/default/files/2006_summary_of_findings.pdf
Wong, M., Robertson, G., & Dyson, R. (2015, February 16). Prospective Relationship Between Poor Sleep and Substance-Related Problems in a National Sample of Adolescents. Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research, 335-362.

Teen Texting Rules

Texting girlWhat is the number one way people use their cell phones?

Checking the time.

Number two? Texting.

In fact the average teenager will send a text every ten minutes they are awake. That’s over 3100 texts per month! This isn’t even counting the number of texts they receive.

Here is some advice for parents regarding texting.
1. Get an unlimited texting plan. Teens will likely text far more than the minutes they will use on phone calls.
2. Use parent-controls. These can not only help to avoid going over any limits but also can make sure texting is not done at inappropriate times.
3. No texting in class.
4. No texting at meals.
5. No texting overnight.Be sure to set the specific time each night when texting is no longer allowed as well as the time each morning when it can begin.
6. No texting while driving.
7. No texting while walking, Search this in YouTube for video evidence of why this is a bad idea.
8. No texting to cheat in class.
9. Texting rules include reading texts as well as sending.
10. Establish clear consequences for misuse. Confiscate the phone for a period of time. Then limited use for a period after they get it back.
11. Monitor messages. Text messages can go viral. Therefore, they are not private. You are not invading privacy by reading them. Have your teen give you their phone every night at least one hour before bedtime. This is your time to monitor their messages and phone use. Return their phone to them the next morning.
12. No sexting.Teach that sexting by teenagers is a crime. It is child pornography and is a prosecutable crime even if they are voluntarily taking the picture of themselves. Therefore it will not be tolerated whether they are the sender or receiver.
13. Embrace the technology yourself. 63% of parents believe texting improved their relationship with their teen. Quickly check in with your teen with a “How are you?” “Where are you?” or “Need anything?” text.
14. Set a good example. Follow your own rules. Don’t text while driving. Don’t text your child in class if you don’t allow them to look at texts in class.

(“Responsible Text Messaging Tips” by Common Sense Media. December 21, 2011. San Francisco, CA: http://www.commonsensemedia.org/advice-for-parents/responsible-text-messaging-tips)