Tag Archives: Values

New Data on Teen Sex Rates

Sexual Health, , , ,

By Eric Tooley

Last week the Centers for Disease Control released new data on teen sex rates. This representative sample study of over fourteen thousand U.S high school teens is conducted every two years.

The 2017 results showed the following:

  • 60.5% have never had sexual intercourse.
  • 71.3% were not currently sexually active during the 3 months before the survey.
  • 46.2% did not use a condom during last sexual intercourse.
  • 13.8% did not use any method to prevent pregnancy during last sexual intercourse.

In 1996 I began to speak in public schools about saving sex for marriage. At that time:

  • 46.9% have never had sexual intercourse.
  • 62.1% were not currently sexually active during the 3 months before the survey.
  • 52.8% did not use a condom during last sexual intercourse.
  • 15.8% did not use any method to prevent pregnancy during last sexual intercourse.

This is an incredible improvement. The fact that the sexual rate is 26% lower now is especially notable.

We still have work to do. The same study revealed that among 2017 U.S. high school students:

  • 11.3% of females were physically forced to have sexual intercourse.
  • 15.2% of females were forced to do sexual things during the 12 months before the survey [counting such things as kissing, touching, or being physically forced to have sexual intercourse].

These numbers have not improved in the last ten years.

I remember high school principals laughing at me when I talked about speaking to their students about saving sex for marriage. They felt like the students would not listen and certainly would not change their behavior. My answer?

Students can make good choices when they are given good information.

Even now I still have this belief. That’s why we chose to name our non-profit organization, Noble Choices.

What about you? Have you given up on teens today?

They listen to people they know care about them.

Care enough to give them good information.

Care enough to believe they can make Noble Choices.

Care enough to try.

 

Kann, L., McManus, T., Harris, W., & et al. (2018). Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance — United States, 2017. MMWR Surveill Summ, 1-114.

Eight Concerns About Selfies

Online Safety, , , ,
By Angela Tooley

Have you ever considered what is the underlying cause of the #metoo abuse and assault cases? The horrors of sex trafficking come from that same place. Even pornography is based on this principle. It is called:
ob·jec·ti·fi·ca·tion
“It is the act of treating a person, as an object or a thing. It is part of dehumanization, the act of disavowing the humanity of others. Sexual objectification, the act of treating a person as a mere object of sexual desire, is a subset of objectification, as is self-objectification, the objectification of one’s self.”
It is the dehumanization process that can unwittingly lead a good person to a porn addiction or worse.  We can lose the ability to value the dignity of human beings. It is very frightening that we can even objectify ourselves. We see it everyday in social media and texts. I bet that you have done it. It is the selfie!
Here are the 8 C’s (Concerns) about selfies:
  • Comparison – you are inviting others to compare you to someone else, not to value your God-given uniqueness
  • Craving a false sense of self-will drive you to post pics for likes and comments
  • Controlling your images becomes unmanageable and unsafe
  • Cultivates negative personality traits like pride and insecurity
  • Compromises your self-image and lowers your self-worth
  • Consider that you will look conceited, not confident
  • Chew sup valuable space on your devices
  • Consumes a lot of time to get all those poses of pouty lips (girls) and flexing biceps (guys)
Now please don’t misunderstand – I’m not saying to never take or post a picture of yourself but when the endless posting of your own picture becomes an exercise in staging moments rather than the experience of living out the life God has given you then you have lost yourself, you are only an object.
You are so much more. I propose that you take great pics that celebrate life! Pictures with other people in them. Pictures that show valued relationships. That’s real beauty for all to see!

“Through technical devices … people were deprived of independent thought.”

Parenting, , , , ,

By Angela Tooley

Eric and I recently visited the U. S. Holocaust Memorial Museum. I was struck by the overwhelming thought, how could this happen? How could the people of Nazi Germany have been so deceived and so unaware of what was happening to their culture and their Jewish countrymen.

Part of the answer is a testimony at the Nuremberg trials of Nazi war criminals:

“Through technical devices like the radio and loudspeaker, 80 million people were deprived of independent thought. It was thereby possible to subject them to the will of one man [Hitler].”

I’m a lifelong history enthusiast, so I was surprised when the museum displayed something that I had never heard of – The Volksempfänger.

“The People’s Receiver,” was designed by Nazi Propaganda Minister, Josef Goebbels. It was available at little to no cost to every German home. It’s low frequency ensured that only German and Austrian radio frequencies were received. All programming was controlled by the Nazi government.

The People’s Receiver delivered the Nazi lies and hate to every German home.

Today, are we any less susceptible to changes in our culture due to our dependence on technical devices?

Rather than one radio in our homes, we are bombarded everywhere with messages of sexual immorality, self-promotion, divisive political rhetoric and racial biases.  This happens through advertising, movies, mass media, the internet and social media.

These messages are delivered to us at anytime and anywhere through our indispensable phones and mobile devices.  Today we hold in our hands the delivery device of lies and self-deception.

We must teach our young people to have independent thought.

Noble Choices programs address these very issues. Not of the World equips students to see the effects of social media. Culture Illusions trains students how to notice cultural “truths” and question their accuracy. Both teach God’s plan about sex as a comparison. These helpful programs equip adults and youth to recognize the unhealthy influences of culture and media.

We would love to present these to your school, church, or civic group.

Let’s make sure we keep independent thought.

“The Truth will set your free.” –John 8:32

Wiesner-Hanks, M. E., Evans, A. D., Wheeler, W. B., & Ruff, J. (2014). Discovering the Western Past, Vol. II: Since 1500. Cengage Learning.

Teaching Kids About Same-Sex Marriage

Parenting, , , , ,

Same Sex MarriageThe Supreme Court’s ruling about same-sex marriage is a monumental change in our culture.

Noble Choices is not changing. We still help people see all of their choices and empower them to choose the highest quality of life. We must now help people make Noble Choices about marriage.

Here are five things parents should do to help their children with this choice.

1. Talk about it!
It is uncomfortable. We fear being judgmental or hypocritical. We are unclear what or how to say it. Do you fear that talking about it will “spoil their innocence,” or “make them desire it?” A 2014 study of 118 evaluations of sex education programs found that 99% did not increase the start of sexual activity. 56% actually showed some positive results. The most effective programs encouraged youth to have genuine talks with their parents.

2. Save sex for marriage.
Saving sex for marriage (same-sex or not) is still the best choice for health, emotions, and success of the marriage. Nothing changes for this value.

3. Acknowledge the choice.
Like it or not, your children have the choice of same-sex marriage. “This is not an option” closes communication and denies their reality. I have always listed abortion as an option in dealing with a teen pregnancy. This allowed me to address abortion and show other options as better. The same approach should be taken with same-sex marriage.

4. Teach the positive.
From an early age, teach your children what you believe about marriage and why you believe it. Teach more about what you are “for” than what you are “against.”

5. Acceptance is not approval.
God gives us freedom to choose His way or not. If we choose another way, He still loves us and wants the best for us even if He does not approve. We should be like God. You already do this with a host of other issues: drinking, divorce, smoking, using God’s name in vain, over-eating, church attendance, etc. We must now do it with same-sex marriage. Your children will encounter others who choose same-sex marriage. Talk about how to respond to them.

Fish, H., Manlove, J., Moore, K. A., & Mass, E. (2014, December). What works for adolescent sexual and reproductive health: lessons from experimental evaluations of programs and interventions. Retrieved from Child Trends: http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/2014-64WhatWorksTeenSexualReproHealth.pdf

Pride and Pornography

Bible, , ,

empty-heart-squareI had a high school sweetheart for two and a half years. I proposed to her after graduation. She would later break up with me but this article is not about that break up.

I had previously broken up with her the summer after my junior year. I went on a church mission trip to another state. I was quite smitten with a girl there, and we had a one-week summer romance.

On the drive home, I remember being very confused. I concluded that I must not love my girlfriend back home after all. If I did, I wouldn’t have acted the way I did on this trip. My reasoning was that my behavior on the trip did not meet my value that I loved my girlfriend.

I was left with two choices:
(1) Change my behavior to match my values.
(2) Change my values to match my behavior.
I chose option two. The right thing for me to do was to end that relationship so I broke up with her.

After about a month, I realized I was even more unhappy. I did indeed love my girlfriend and I was not with her. I went back to option one and we got back together.

Was this just the ways of an immature teenager? Possibly. However, I see a lot of adults doing the same thing.

There is a fundamental human principle at work: pride. Option one involves admitting wrong, asking for forgiveness, and working to do better. I had too much pride for that option. I had so much pride that option never even occurred to me. I was miserable trying to live according inauthentic values. I finally turned back to option one.

No one is perfect. We will all get out of synch with our values. Admit your mistakes. Don’t let pride force you to discard your values. Otherwise you may start looking to fill that void with pornography or sex before marriage or other behavior that you not only don’t value but actually hate. Trust me. I know.

Proverbs 16:18: Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Isaiah 32:8: But the noble make noble plans, and by noble deeds they stand.