Tag Archives: culture

Teaching Kids About Same-Sex Marriage

Parenting, , , , ,

Same Sex MarriageThe Supreme Court’s ruling about same-sex marriage is a monumental change in our culture.

Noble Choices is not changing. We still help people see all of their choices and empower them to choose the highest quality of life. We must now help people make Noble Choices about marriage.

Here are five things parents should do to help their children with this choice.

1. Talk about it!
It is uncomfortable. We fear being judgmental or hypocritical. We are unclear what or how to say it. Do you fear that talking about it will “spoil their innocence,” or “make them desire it?” A 2014 study of 118 evaluations of sex education programs found that 99% did not increase the start of sexual activity. 56% actually showed some positive results. The most effective programs encouraged youth to have genuine talks with their parents.

2. Save sex for marriage.
Saving sex for marriage (same-sex or not) is still the best choice for health, emotions, and success of the marriage. Nothing changes for this value.

3. Acknowledge the choice.
Like it or not, your children have the choice of same-sex marriage. “This is not an option” closes communication and denies their reality. I have always listed abortion as an option in dealing with a teen pregnancy. This allowed me to address abortion and show other options as better. The same approach should be taken with same-sex marriage.

4. Teach the positive.
From an early age, teach your children what you believe about marriage and why you believe it. Teach more about what you are “for” than what you are “against.”

5. Acceptance is not approval.
God gives us freedom to choose His way or not. If we choose another way, He still loves us and wants the best for us even if He does not approve. We should be like God. You already do this with a host of other issues: drinking, divorce, smoking, using God’s name in vain, over-eating, church attendance, etc. We must now do it with same-sex marriage. Your children will encounter others who choose same-sex marriage. Talk about how to respond to them.

Fish, H., Manlove, J., Moore, K. A., & Mass, E. (2014, December). What works for adolescent sexual and reproductive health: lessons from experimental evaluations of programs and interventions. Retrieved from Child Trends: http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/2014-64WhatWorksTeenSexualReproHealth.pdf

Expectation Problems

Bible, , ,

Ranger GameI love Texas Rangers baseball. I love TobyMac’s Christian music.

A couple of years ago, TobyMac did a concert after the Texas Rangers game. It just couldn’t get any better, right?

After the game, we’re told we have to move to the lower bowl for the concert. We struggle through the crowds to get to the elevator. The elevator is broken! I hear the concert begin just as the elevator becomes operational.

On the lower level, we can only find obstructed-view seats from behind the stage. At times we can’t hear because the Rangers’ ground crew is using a tractor on the outfield grass!

As my anger builds, I look up at our original seats on the top deck and there are lots of people seated there! I am furious!

What happened? I saw a Rangers victory. I am at a TobyMac concert. I have a chance to worship God with thousands of people in Rangers Ballpark led by TobyMac. AND. I. AM. MISERABLE!

The problem was expectations. My expectations were so high that all I could see were my expectations failing to be met.

As we work with young people, be aware of expectations. Music, novels, television, and movies set lofty expectations for romance, marriage, and sex.

Even Bible classes, sermons, and sex education set lofty expectations.

  • “Save sex for marriage to have the best sex.”
  • “Marry a Christian to avoid divorce.”
  • “God has chosen the perfect person for you to marry.”
  • “My spouse will be my best friend and soul mate.

When our actual romance, marriage, and sex happen, it doesn’t meet expectations. It must be wrong then. So we break up or divorce to continue the quest to meet those expectations. We cannot see how good we have it because we are too focused on the unmet expectations.

You see blessing is not the absence of struggles. It is because of the struggles.

“Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:2-4.

Parental Romance is Crucial

Sexual Health, ,

Couple dinnerIndulge me for a moment in a thought exercise.

Suppose you are a teenager growing up today. Like most parents, your parents have not talked to you very much about sex. They just said you need to save sex for marriage.

You now have your first serious boyfriend or girlfriend, and you are feeling the urge to have sex. It is time to make up your mind.

Television, movies, music, magazines, and even your friends push the idea have sex now. Your parents seem to be the only ones saying to save sex.

Does your culture make the idea of sex now look good? YES! Be like everyone else, be happy, enjoy life, consequences are rare. It is thrilling and exciting.

Now how do your parents make the idea look of keeping sex in marriage? Well, they had sex once, maybe more if you have siblings. Do you see any thrill, excitement, happiness, or enjoyment in their romantic relationship? No.

So which would you choose?

Do you model romance for your kids? Do you make sure they see their parents in an exciting romantic relationship? You should. I’m not talking about having sex in their presence. I’m talking romance.

Bill Maier shared a great idea on Focus on the Family. Tell your kids you want to surprise your spouse with a romantic dinner in the dining room. Let them choose the center pieces, set the table, make decorations. Perhaps they can even help prepare the meal. Maybe they just clean their rooms or clean the dining room or living room.

Set up a table for the kids in another room while you and your spouse have a candle-lit dinner alone. Your children get to see up close and personal the thrill, excitement, happiness, and enjoyment of a romantic marriage. And … you might just enjoy it yourself.

Maier, B. (2013, March 21). Dining Room Romance. Family Minute With Dr. Bill Maier. Focus on the Family Podcast. Retrieved from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FamilyMinuteBillMaier/~3/zuso4PvosYw/fmdb_20130321.mp3